Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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