I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
