all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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