): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
