So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
