Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
