I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
