Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
