Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
