i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
