i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
