zippers are such a cool invention
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
