I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
