covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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