how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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