Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
