she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
