Grow some girl-balls and come out already
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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