well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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