I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
