names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am naked and annoyed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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