Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
