I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize