fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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