Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
