I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
