halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize