so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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