Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
