Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
