if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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