How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
