i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
