we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
