My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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