garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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