Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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