i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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