The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
