The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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