Someone shit on the floor
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize