the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dicks are not precious.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
