My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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