i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
