Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize