Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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