I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
