thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
