Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
