Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
