Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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