She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
