True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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