You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
