are you still at the devil's house?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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