i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
