let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
