Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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