i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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