Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I could make wine with my vomit
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
