Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize