My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
