I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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