so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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