Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
